Two Queens No Smoking
by YoDrDeath
Summary: Maura gets drunk at a convention and wants to sleep with Jane in their hotel room, but Jane is straight. FWB leading to eventual relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**Just a completely unoriginal little smutty scenario that was on my mind.**

* * *

"Which bed you want?" she asks, dropping her suitcase on the hideous patterned carpet.

"It doesn't matter," Maura answers. "You should really put that on the luggage rack."

Jane drops her coat and then herself face-down onto the bed nearest the door.

"I am _so_ tired. Can't believe Cavanaugh's making me lose my whole weekend to this stupid thing."

"Inspiring young minds is anything but stupid, and it's especially valuable for them to see women succeeding in careers like ours. Just think, you could be making an impression on the next Jane Rizzoli."

"It's not the sixties. Girls know they can do stuff," Jane groans, turning her head the other way in case it will make her neck hurt less. It doesn't.

"Then do it for the little Darren Crowes who would do well to see women in positions of authority and mentorship."

Jane grumbles. Both points are good, but spite is the better motivator.

"Okay. I'm going to head downstairs," Maura announces after freshening up in the bathroom.

"Your thing doesn't start for like an hour," Jane objects.

"I'd like to mingle and make myself available for early questions. Are you going to nap before yours?"

"Looks like."

There is the sound of a phone unlocking, which she knows is Maura setting an alarm for her, as well as an under-the-breath mumble of something about how Jane should have slept on the plane.

* * *

Jane is the third of four presenters on law enforcement, and they are clearly the only four people in the room who are remotely interested in what they're saying.

The only question she gets is a kid asking how gross it is to see a dead body. It's the only thing they ever ask, in fact, it's the exact same thing a different kid asked the first presenter fifteen minutes ago, only this kid wasn't listening. She tries to at least top the first answer, telling the story of the floater whose hand came off in hers, earning several intrigued _ewwww_s.

She leaves as soon as it's over and gets a burger in the lobby restaurant. The sauce on it sucks. Maura texts to say she's chatting up some guy and they're going to get drinks.

Jane abandons the last third of the gross burger and heads back up to the room alone, settling on the bed with a bag of vending machine chips to see what's on TV.

Next thing she knows, she awakes to Maura coming in, laughing out loud and wobbling against the weight of the door.

"What's funny?" Jane asks, sitting up and brushing the crumbs off her shirt.

"What?"

"What's so funny?"

"The door." The blonde dabs at the corner of her eye makeup before starting to laugh again. "Your socks."

Jane glances down to confirm that her socks are white, matching, and completely unremarkable.

"Had some wine, huh?"

"More than one glass," she says, then snorts. "Definitely fewer than one hundred."

"Very precise as always, Doctor. You had a nice evening, then, I guess?"

"No!" Maura abruptly trades her giggles for a pout, swinging her arm.

"Oh.."

"He was a forensic anthropololllo..gist! He was _handsome_. But he had to _leave_," she plops down on the bed and heaves a big sigh, one shoe falling off. "I was all ready to have sex tonight."

"Uh," Jane kind of laughs. "Sorry it didn't work out."

"He was divorced. He looked kind of like... who's... who's that actor. Only, with no beard. You know?"

"Not really," Jane answers, getting up and unzipping her suitcase, rooting around for her pajamas while Maura babbles out an unhelpful description.

Damn it, did she forget toothpaste?

"Hey. Hey."

"Huh."

"Jane."

"_What_."

"We could have sex."

"..What?" Jane's eyebrows shoot up. Maybe she misinterpreted that.

"You and me. I. We could have sex with each other. I didn't get to, and-"

"You are drunker than I thought."

"-and _you_ didn't get to, either..."

"I'm not here to get laid, I'm here to inspire young minds, remember?" Jane asks, steering hard into the change of topic. "Which reminds me, there was this kid who-"

"Nonono. Listen. It's so _convenient_. We're already right here, we wouldn't even have to get up and leave after," she counts off her reasoning on random amounts of fingers. "And it's just _us_ so it would be safe. It would be so _easy_."

"We're gonna strike this whole conversation from the record. If you remember it tomorrow, feel free to pretend not to."

"Gi-h- me one good reason why not," Maura demands, partially holding back a burp.

"Besides that I said no?" Jane asks more sternly. Drunk or not, if Maura is prepared to ignore that, she's going to be pissed.

"You haven't said no or yes."

"Then here you go: _no_."

"Alright," Maura shrugs in a small voice.

Warily Jane gathers her stuff and shuffles past her to the bathroom, deciding it best to change in private given the current topic.

Maura is openly bi, and yet it's Jane who's been followed by rumors and dumb jokes and assumptions throughout her career despite being straight. Maura could probably french a woman in the BPD lobby and as long as she was wearing a dress and heels, people would say _Oh, look what good friends they are. She's European, you know_. Meanwhile all Jane has to do is stand near any female colleague, and she'll overhear little things about her trying to sniff their hair or catch people flicking their tongues. They're all dumbasses.

She's told Maura how tired she is of it, and she seemed to sympathize. Should she be hurt if, deep down, even her best friend doubts her sexuality? Or maybe Maura wasn't asking because she thought Jane would be receptive to sex with a woman. Maybe she wasn't thinking at all for once, and is drunk and horny and that's it.

By the time she finishes brushing her teeth, Jane has made the decision to be mildly flattered, if uncomfortable, and not to make any more of it.

"Your turn."

Jane ushers Maura towards the bathroom and then crawls beneath the covers.

She's gotten comfortable on her side and started to doze off when the lamp goes off. The mattress dips.

"Hey. Your bed's over there."

"Hm?" Maura hums.

"There's two beds. We're not sharing."

"Oh. I'm tired," she whines, not sounding willing to get back up.

And neither is Jane. Already all situated, she just rolls her eyes and puts her head back on her pillow with a grunt.

A small sound she keeps hearing makes her ears perk up, annoying because it's nearly imperceptible. It must be Maura, but it's not quite snoring. Just sleepy drunk person sounds.

She reaches an arm blindly behind her, finding her friend's shoulder and giving it a light shove.

"What," Maura asks.

"Sorry. You were making sounds. Go back to sleep."

"It's okay," she sighs. "I wasn't asleep."

But another couple of minutes pass and Jane hears it again.

One more makes her throw off the covers abruptly. "Quit it." Feeling for the edge of the other bed, she slides under its covers instead, desperate for as much peace and quiet as another couple of feet of distance can bring.

But now that she's more alert and irritable, against her own will she's listening for more noises harder than she's trying to sleep.

Maura sighs out loud and it's the last straw.

"Maura," she snaps, her hand fumbling around for the light switch. "What are you _doing_? I swear to- OH. Kay," she switches it immediately back off, but the brightness and the sight are both burned vividly into her eyeballs.

Maura was - is - on top of the other bedspread, bare below the waist, her knees folded wide apart and, well, Jane didn't need to get a good look at her hand to know what it was doing.

"What the fuck, Maura?" she scowls. "Come on!"

"I'm masturbating," she answers helpfully.

"Yeah, I got that - why the hell are you doing it with me here?"

"It relaxes me," she explains like it's the most natural thing in the world, and the sleepy breathiness of her voice makes Jane intensely uncomfortable, along with the realization that she has not stopped.

"Well, quit it! Go to sleep."

"I'm trying to. I need release," she sighs. "You won't do it for me."

Drunk, half-asleep and obviously busy, it's clear Maura has no intention of stopping, and Jane stays frozen on the side of her own bed in disbelief at the true source of the sounds she's continuing to hear.

What's she going to do, then? Lie there in the dark and listen to Maura finish? Yeah, no.

Unwilling to walk out into the hallway barefoot and braless under her tank top, Jane pads blindly through the room and closes herself in the bathroom instead, wincing at the bright bluish light and just... standing there. Guessing she'll just wait a while.

She isn't sure whether she really can still hear the sounds through the door or is just imagining it. Heart pounding uncomfortably, she turns on the sink to drown it out.

But she can't drown out that mental picture. Those pale legs parted wide so easily. She had no idea Maura was that flexible. They were just totally open. Totally unabashed.

And the sounds. The little sounds that must have been her fingers. Wet sliding fingers. Little soft moans.

Jane shifts her weight, coming to terms with the uncomfortable feeling of heavy warmth between her own legs. Her body is taking this a bit differently than her mind is.

It's natural to react physically to someone masturbating right in front of you, even if it's someone you aren't attracted to. Maybe it's the taboo. Maybe it's just biology. That's what Maura would say, probably.

Ok, she isn't _repulsed_ at the idea of Maura masturbating. Everyone does that, herself included, and Maura isn't gross for it. She just never counted on seeing or hearing it.

No, the uncomfortable part is that Maura _kept_ doing it. She's most likely still doing it right now.

A small part of her would like to have kept her mouth shut, pretended to be asleep, and listened. No. No, that's the horniness talking. That'd be a horrible idea. Then she'd be in the same state as Maura, except without the excuse of being drunk. Not to mention really wrong.

But would it be wrong if Jane relieved herself, too? Maura seems extremely unlikely to mind, if she ever knew, which she wouldn't. And it's not _about_ her. It's just about... well, like Maura said, now she's... _ like this_ and it'd take much longer to fall asleep without release... ugh.

She slips a hand down the front of her underwear and finds where coarse curls end and smooth flesh begins. Her mouth opens at how wet she already is. She stands with her eyes shut, fingers circling herself, gripping the countertop with her other hand and trying to find something to think about other than Maura.

Her last boyfriend? Yeah. That sex was good.

But the sound of Maura pleasuring herself is pretty good too, and that's probably still going on right now, just feet away.

It had been going on just _inches_ away. She'd been laying there for... what, ten minutes? Twenty? Not knowing the sounds she'd been listening to were Maura moaning softly as she fingered herself. Not even trying to hide it.

Jane's fingers dip lower, dragging up more wetness to tease herself with.

Maura had been wet enough to hear. She wonders what Maura sounds like when she's having an orgasm.

She gives in to her thoughts, and it feels kind of weird and creepy and wrong and... so fucking good. Instantly close, her head falls back and mouth falls open, forbidding herself to make any sound that could give her away as she rubs herself furiously.

Standing alone in the cramped hotel bathroom, she comes hard, hips jerking against nothing. Only one small grunt gets away from her, which hopefully the running water conceals.

Still breathing hard and seeing stars, Jane washes her hands and splashes water on her face. Feeling sated but not so proud of herself.

When she comes cautiously back into the room, Maura sounds still. She freezes until she's sure what she hears is soft snoring.

In the dark she pulls the other side of the quilt over her friend, careful not to wake her, hoping to spare herself a conversation in the morning. She'll let Maura wake up first and hopefully she won't mention anything.

Climbing back into her own bed, Jane gets settled and tries not to wonder whether Maura ever finished.

Mercifully, the room remains silent.


	2. Chapter 2

**UPDATE: this A/N first explained my intent to keep them just FWB's and nothing more here, but taking into account the small tidal wave of negative feedback: okay okay, they can be in a relationship at the end :) I don't personally identify with separating sex from romance either, I was just challenging myself to write something different from the thousands of fics already on here, but I guess there's no point in writing something no one wants to read. So: FWBs leading to rizzles it is. Sorry for the confusion. It's still not going to be a 30 chapter romantic epic though.**

* * *

Blindly Jane fumbles through in the sheets, finding her phone and silencing its tinkling alarm. She hates that tone, but maybe it's just as well. She would learn to hate any sound that startles her awake five mornings per week.

When she looks over her shoulder, she finds that she is alone. The other bed is loosely made and the room silent. A gap in the curtains lets a beam of morning light slice through the otherwise peaceful darkness.

Slowly Jane finds her way out of bed and opens the curtain a bit more with pre-closed eyes, adjusting to the light and stretching, flipping on the TV to local news, and gathering her things.

Where might Maura have gone? Probably not eating breakfast, because they agreed to eat together. Maybe she's out doing some early networking. Hopefully she hasn't remembered last night, gotten embarrassed, and just... left.

The shower is a debacle, as hotel showers always are. The microscopic amount of shampoo in the little bottle gets lost in Jane's thick curls, barely lathering at all. Oh, well. She isn't here for luxury. She shimmies into her slacks and pulls a white tank and dark blue V neck over her still-damp hair before opening the door.

Maura is sitting on the bed, nicely dressed and fully styled. It's impressive how put together she looks after last night.

"Oh, hey. Morning."

She rises immediately, answering "Good morning," in a small voice that doesn't bode well.

"Sleep okay?"

Maura hesitates, presenting her with a small bouquet of flowers in a glass vase.

Jane glances up questioningly.

"I..." she sighs, pushing them another inch forward. "I _strongly_ suspect that I owe you a massive apology."

"It's..." Jane manages to find a laugh, accepting the flowers and giving one a courtesy sniff. She couldn't say what kind they are, but they smell nice. "You really didn't have to do that. It's fine."

"It's _not_ fine. It's beyond inappropriate. It's sexual assault. And I'm very, very sorry that I must have made you uncomfortable."

"It's not assault," Jane rubs her eyes. "You jus-"

"It's something you'd be thinking about bringing charges against any other colleague for. Switching rooms and avoiding them in the future, at very least. Is it not?"

Well, that's true. If she'd made the trip with some random other coworker who'd gotten in her bed drunk and started jerking off, odds are she'd be a lot less forgiving.

"You're not any other colleague, though. We're friends. It doesn't have to be a federal case. You've accidentally seen me changing before.. call it even."

"That's not the same.."

"Look, don't worry about it, alright? It was.. funny. I didn't stay. No harm done. Just, y'know, don't make it a habit."

"Never. I will _never_ drink to excess in your presence again," she states, sweeping both hands emphatically. "I don't know what got into me."

"It's been a tense month," Jane shrugs. Some particularly tragic and heinous cases have crossed their desks lately, and no one at BPD could be blamed for blowing off a little steam.

She sits down on her bed, sighing and putting a hand to her forehead.

"You okay?"

"My head... what do you mean you didn't stay? You were asleep here when I woke up."

"Well, I.. gave you some privacy til I figured you were done." A hint of an awkward feeling, maybe guilt, passes over her. That response wasn't untrue, but it wasn't the whole truth.

"Oh." She sighs, shaking her head. "At least."

They've got two more nights to spend in this room, and the sooner they move on from this topic, the less weird the remainder of that time has to be.

"C'mon," Jane tugs her friend by the hands. "Let's get some crappy complementary coffee and pancakes in that stomach."

"No," she groans. "You refused to let me get us better accommodations, but I draw the line at continental breakfast. I'm finding us a real restaurant."

* * *

"Jane, I need to talk to you."

She can tell by the tone what this is going to be about.

The whole second day and night had passed without incident. Her final day of presenting had gone okay. Dinner had been fine. The weirdness all seemed forgotten. And now _just_ as they're about to have to go to sleep in the same room together for the last time, Maura has to break this topic back out.

At least it's better than discussing it in public.

"If this is about what I think it's about, we've talked all we need to," Jane tries, emptying her pockets onto the nightstand. "It's really not a big deal."

"Please?" Maura asks, setting down her purse. "I hate that you've heard some crude inebriated version of thoughts I never meant to share, and then for us to just leave it undiscussed."

"But what more is there to discuss? It doesn't count. I get it."

"I want to clarify my _conscious_ thoughts on the subject. Full disclosure, so I don't have to wonder if you're wondering what I'm thinking. Briefly, I promise."

Jane sighs, knowing the fastest way out of this is through it. "Fine." She faces her directly, waiting.

Wetting her lips, Maura stands there for a second gathering her thoughts.

"I don't question your sexuality. Whatever I might have said was because _I'm_ open to sex with women, not because I think you are."

"Okay."

Maura blinks like that was too easy. Like she'd expected a fight and now has to shuffle forward through several mental notecards.

"I also don't harbor any secret romantic feelings for you," she says, adding a softer, "N-no offense."

"None taken," Jane laughs. It hadn't been a profession of love, not by a long shot. "That didn't even cross my mind. Sounded like you just wanted an itch scratched."

"Well, that's about what it was," Maura winces, nodding. "See, I _have _on occasion thought about how it'd be if we had one of those... beneficial friendships, is that what they call it?"

"Friends with benefits?" Jane's brows sneak upward.

"Yes. So, that's why I expressed the interest last night... although I again apologize for that, and the manner in which I must have done so."

"Boy, when you say full disclosure..."

"That's all," Maura says, turning casually from the conversation and unclasping her necklace. "Would you like the bathroom first?"

"Wh.. I..." the brunette holds up her hands, befuddled. "And we're just gonna leave _that_ there?"

"I said I'd be brief."

"So... you think about us, who last I checked are both women... doing stuff," Jane narrows her eyes, "even though you _don't_ think I'm gay...?"

"Oh, I never thought of it as gay," Maura replies in total earnest, but Jane levels a look at her. "I don't! One can dabble outside their norms for the sake of scratching an itch, as you put it. I don't picture anything romantic in it for either of us. I only thought about it in terms of us being available to each other as a safe source of release on occasion. And I never intended to actually suggest it to you."

_Release._ The way she uses that word so innocuously makes Jane's chest warm in an uncomfortable way. Just the way it did when she'd said it last night.

"But why?" Jane asks. "I'm not... mad or anything, I just don't get it - why me? Why not picture that with someone you've slept with? Someone who'd be.. y'know, compatible with you?"

"You're the person I'm closest to. I feel comfortable with you," she answers simply. "And the incompatibility is exactly what makes it perfect. No risk of it getting complicated and awkward."

"Huh." Bizarre, although there is a sorta nice sentiment somewhere in there.

"Do I need to go buy you more flowers for this?"

Jane snorts. "No."

"It's not something I think about all the time," Maura adds.

"Okay."

"Do you not want the bathroom? I have to pee."

"Be my guest," Jane gestures with a sweep of her arm.

And while Maura shuts herself in the bathroom, Jane just drops herself on the edge of the bed and spaces out staring at the ugly watercolor painting on the wall.

The idea of Maura thinking about her that way hadn't landed the way she expected. It weirds her out a bit, yes, but it's almost equally flattering.

She can honestly say her reaction the other night didn't involve any desire to actually do anything _with_ Maura at all. She does not want "benefits" with her. But whatever brain lobe horniness lives in _does_ wonder what Maura's reaction would be to finding out what she'd done.

Would it turn her on? Maybe not; it was kind of creepy. Although what Maura did was pretty creepy too, so maybe they'd be even. No, she won't confess to that. But... now that she knows how much Maura would be open to, it seems pretty likely that she'd be open to something lesser.

By the time Maura comes out of the bathroom, a stupid horny idea is snowballing in her brain. With the upper hand and no feelings at stake, she figures she can afford to take a stab at it.

"Look, the other night... I guess I was mostly uncomfortable because you were drunk," Jane fits her fingertips together. "I mean, because I didn't know if you really would've wanted me to be.. seeing you do that."

"I certainly wouldn't have wanted you to see something you didn't want to see."

"Well, what if I said that.. even though I _was_ uncomfortable, I wasn't.. disgusted."

"I would... thank you, I suppose?"

"What if I said that once the surprise wore off it was... kind of... exciting. In a super weird way."

"Oh?"

"I'm not into you like that," she adds. "But just that you were.. _right there_. And... I don't know."

"Stimulus, response. That's understandable."

"I guess it's been a really dry spell. I didn't want to, y'know, get involved at all, but part of me liked it." Jane shrugs, grinning at the way her friend's brows rise with interest. "I just felt like you should know that so you don't feel _too_ bad."

"Well.. that still doesn't justify my actions, but I'm glad to know it wasn't a wholly negative experience for you."

It's clear that at the risk of another faux pas, Maura is refusing to help pull this conversation where Jane is pushing it. So it's up to Jane to give it a shove.

"Maura?" she glances up from her seat on the edge of her bed. "What if I kind of wanted you to do it again?"

Maura grins, apparently deciding it's obvious enough now.

"And this time, you kind of didn't want to leave?"

"Kind of." Jane swallows.

"And what might you kind of want to do instead of leaving?"

One nervous grind of her teeth before she's able to get the answer out. "Watch."

If that disappoints Maura, she hides it well.

"Then I'd kind of indulge you."

And they stare at each other like _Well? _

"Now?"

"I guess," Jane shrugs. "But wait - whatever this is, which is nothing, it stays in this room." Something about a hotel is like international waters. It's not home, it's not real. No rules. Nothing counts.

"Alright."

Maura comes to stand between the beds, and before Jane's eyes, her face morphs into a smirky, unmistakably bedroomy expression - one Jane has never been privy to before. With a jolt she realizes she has left this way too open-ended.

"Nonono, wait, not like that," she raises a hand before the blonde can reach for the zipper on her dress. "No theatrics. Don't be sexy. Pretend I'm not here. Just stay over there and do exactly how you'd do it if you were alone."

"Oh," Maura drops her arms to her sides. "Um, alright."

"If that's okay...?"

"It's fine." She sits down on the edge of the other bed, neatly slipping off her heels.

Jane's eyes move down her body, noting her sage knee-length dress and frowning faintly in thought.

"Speaking of which, how do you do it in a dress?"

"You've never?"

"I don't wear that many dresses."

"You can just pull it up. Although if I were alone, I would usually just take it off altogether."

"Do the first one," Jane requests quickly, not needing to see that much of her friend.

Maura reclines but then peers at the bedspread and seems to think better of it, getting up and pulling all the covers back, murmuring something about it being sanitary, before getting situated again in the sheets.

And before Jane can hardly blink, she has pulled up that dress. "See?"

"Oh. Y-yeah."

She can see Maura's underwear, at least the part around her hip. Peach colored lace. And in one smooth motion she pulls them over her hips and off her legs, dropping them in a little peachy puddle at the foot of the bed.

"Oh. You're just gon- okay," Jane swallows, looking away and scratching behind her ear.

"Is something wrong?" Maura looks over.

"No, I just.. I didn't mean you had to drop what you were doing and..."

"Is there something else you wanted us to do first?"

"No, I just thought you'd need a minute first."

"That's what I'm doing. I normally just fantasize for a little while."

"Oh."

"Why are you averting your eyes?" Maura laughs.

Jane shrugs, pink-faced, putting her eyes back on target.

Maura's hand is between her legs and although Jane can't see exactly what it's doing, she only seems to be teasing herself.

"So.. um, what do you fantasize about?"

"Right now? Us."

She watches, torn between the surreal awkwardness and the fact that it's immediately starting to have an effect on her.

"What makes the idea of us work for you? What is it about me? And that's a real question, I'm not trying to..."

Maura lets a smile close her eyes.

"You're strong and beautiful. Confident. You have integrity and you're fun to be with. I'm sure you're able to laugh during sex, which I appreciate. People make it too solemn. Too intense. We would have fun."

"Solemn sex is the worst," Jane agrees.

"We care about each other, know each others' history and boundaries, understand each other.." Maura lists, stroking at herself absently, looking at the ceiling. "We already rely on each other for most forms of emotional intimacy. As far as my needs are concerned, you'd be the ideal partner for occasional sexual favors... no strings, but without the risk and total detachedness of casual sex..."

"So you're thinking about me doing stuff to you?"

"Yes, but I also think about doing things to you."

"Like what?" Jane asks, curiosity and adrenaline swirling in her chest.

She thinks for a moment, and Jane knows she has thought of something when the pace of her circling fingers picks up.

"I think about bringing you to orgasm with my fingers. I'm sure you do that yourself, but it's so much nicer to have it done for you."

"How are you so sure I do that?" Jane asks. They've never discussed it.

"Eighty-one percent of American women masturbate, and that could easily be under-reported. You work a high-stress job and have infrequent sexual partners. I'd be very surprised if you didn't indulge on a regular basis, if only as stress relief or a sleep aid."

"Alright," Jane smiles. "I do my fair share."

"You know, you could have a better view over here," Maura suggests, eyes indicating the empty space on the bed next to her. "I won't bite."

"I'm good." She isn't trying to see _that_ well.

"Okay," the blonde chuckles.

"So tell me how that would be."

"Mm.. in one scenario.. you might show up on my doorstep very late some night, unannounced. Tired, but sleepless. Unable to clear your mind of work... frustrated. So frustrated. You wouldn't have to explain what you wanted."

"Yeah..."

"I'd take you to the guest room and slip into bed with you. You'd get comfortable and part your legs, just enough to let me touch you. And I'd know exactly how you needed it, from the other times. It could be simple.. efficient. Only what you needed and nothing more. You could just let go, without embarrassment. We wouldn't have to talk about it. When I finished servicing you, I would go back to my room unless you called on me again. You might go back home but it would make much more sense to fall asleep there, which you would be welcome to do."

_Servicing._ Another innocuous word that makes her suddenly wetter.

"And that's all?"

"Mhm. The endorphins would help you unwind. You wouldn't have to return the favor; the point is for you to remain relaxed. It would arouse me, but I could satisfy myself afterward."

Jane blinks.

This is not the ludicrous, porny fantasy she had expected. Wanting her to do a Sexy Scientist Halloween costume striptease or something - that, she could have laughed off, patted Maura on the head, and said _have fun getting off to that, but it's not happening in a million years_. But the fact that Maura's response is rooted in an entirely realistic scenario makes it slip under her skin.

There _are_ nights when she's overworked, sleepless, and frustrated. Lots of them. And masturbation _is_ a remedy she uses a lot. Sometimes she chases it for far too long, ending up sweaty and annoyed. How luxurious would it be to lie back and have it done for her, with no strings attached?

"That's something you would do? In real life?"

Maura nods.

Her hand begins to move in a different way, and she moans softly, and the conversation peters out. Jane sits silently, pulse thumping in her ears as she watches, both disappointed and grateful at the way Maura's leg is blocking her exact view of her fingers slipping in and out.

Maura's other hand grabs idly at her breast through her dress. Her head lolls to the side, eyes closed. And after a minute, she brings that lower hand to her mouth and tastes two of her fingertips, making some kind of soft noise, and then puts them back.

Jane's heart, or liver or something, jumps into her throat.

"Bull_shit_."

Hazel eyes open and come to focus. "Pardon me?"

"No _way_ you do all that when you're by yourself. You're acting sexy on purpose."

"I am not."

"You're telling me this is all totally standard?"

"Could I lie?"

She's got her there.

"You're so... _female_ about it."

"What does that mean? How do you do it?"

"Not like that."

"I want to see you."

Jane's eyes dart to hers.

"You weren't _just_ going to watch, were you?" Maura smirks, fingers circling slowly again. "I've wondered before what you look like when you masturbate."

Can she do it? Well, it's not like it wasn't weird already.

Jane takes a big breath and reclines stiffly on the bed, getting as comfortable as can be expected.

"I'm _not_... you know... putting on a show."

"I don't want you to. I want to see how you do it alone, too."

She undoes her belt and her zipper, revealing just a little of the waistband of her panties. Hand slipping not far inside.

Although she's wet, the awkwardness of being watched makes for a slow start. She tries not to think about the fact that Maura is there, or the fact that this will only get weirder if it takes her a really long time, or the likelihood that Maura's reaction will be _"that's it? you're so boring."_

"Bullshit."

Her head snaps to the side, finding Maura with a teasing smile, hand still moving lazily between her legs.

"What?"

"Do you really do it with your pants on, alone at home?"

"Yeah?" she replies defensively.

"Fine." A throaty chuckle floats over from the next bed.

She could slip in, but doesn't feel like doing that in front of Maura. Instead she finds her sensitive spot and circles it with a slick fingertip, sucking in a silent breath.

Maura moans softly, and she turns and looks.

And she's looking right at her, legs folded apart like the other night, pleasuring herself. Even sober, she is not ashamed or self-conscious at all. Focused entirely on Jane.

Jane begins to rub herself in earnest.

They're not just getting off in front of each other. They're getting off _to_ each other. It doesn't feel like real life.

Jane does not moan or writhe or arch and her other hand lies totally unused. She might do those things at home, but she doesn't need to do them in front of Maura.

"I can see your hand moving in your pants. Your work pants. Every time I see you at work now I'll be able to picture you pleasuring yourself."

Jane glances down at the undulating bulge her knuckles are creating.

"I could hear you the other night. Before I realized what the sound was. Your fingers. You were that wet."

"What about now?"

Jane reluctantly freezes, listening, but it feels twice as good when she starts again, now cued in on those tiny wet sounds.

"Yeah," she breathes.

"I hear you."

"How?" Jane frowns faintly.

"Your belt."

The open belt buckle is clinking faintly against itself with the rhythm of Jane's hand moving under it.

Tomorrow she's going to have to re-wear yesterday's underwear on the plane. They're her only pair that Maura hasn't made her soak through.

She's close, but it takes a mental push to get herself to let go in front of Maura.

Maura tastes her fingers again, licking their length this time.

That does it. Jane's legs stiffen. Her breath catches, her hips push, her eyes close. A couple of soft noises escape her throat despite her best efforts. Removing her hand and dropping it on the bed at her side, she lets out an exhale and rolls her head to the left, expecting Maura's underwhelmed reaction.

Maura is arched, pinching at her breast with one hand and racing for the finish line with the other. And she gets there.

Head tilting back, she moans in a high, helpless sounding way that makes Jane's hairs stand on end.

With her own climax overwith, mostly all she feels now while watching Maura's is a twinge of inadequacy. The way the blonde's body moves in its throes of pleasure is graceful and womanly, unlike her own - all stiff and lurching and quiet. Jane is grateful to have come first. She probably would've been too embarrassed to follow this act.

Maura continues teasing herself slowly after she relaxes, and now Jane looks away. It's over, and there's no more reason to watch.

Is she supposed to comment? '_hey, nice orgasm'? _Maybe she doesn't have to say anything.

Both seeming to wonder the same thing, they look at each other, and away, laughing.

Jane flips on the TV.


	3. Chapter 3

**Quarantine seemed like a good time to take another look at this story :)**

**Reminder: I intend for them to end up together, but for now, this Jane is approaching a FWB situation as a straight woman, and this Maura is bi. If you can't stomach a Maura or Jane who have ever been genuinely attracted to men, and aren't immediate soulmates, now would be a great time to choose a different fic.**

* * *

Back to Boston. Back to work as usual.

Unable to think of anything else but that stuff in the hotel, Jane spends the entire plane ride pondering.

The more she thinks about it, the more Maura's logic is so backwards that it actually circles all the way back around to making sense, in some crazy way. Maybe the thing that makes it ridiculous is the exact thing that would make it able to work: they _aren't_ compatible.

The only real barrier is deciding whether she wants this.

Work never leaves Jane any time to pursue a real relationship, and she's never been the casual hookup type. How anyone could trust a stranger like that so quickly is beyond her, and not just because of all the crime scenes she's processed that began as dates. Opening up to new people fast, emotionally or sexually, isn't her style.

Even if she met some dream man today, it would take a long time to build up the level of trust and familiarity she already has with Maura.

That's the draw here. Maura is safe. Maura is neutral and doesn't judge and isn't secretly in love with her (she said so!) or anything weird like that. There are no unknowns. She's just... exactly what she said: a safe, easy source of release.

That one word just won't leave her mind: _release._ That's not really even sex. Certainly not romance. Not even experimentation. That's just like pulling a lever and venting steam. Just hey, do me a favor.

So why not do this? Is she afraid of people finding out and thinking she's gay? Eh. No one close to her would care if she actually was, and anyone who did could kiss her ass. She's thought before that being gay would have probably improved her dating life. She's a big hit with women; they like all the things about her that sometimes keep men at a distance. It's flattering, and she's given herself license to return their interest if she felt any, but she never has.

And it's not that she's interested here, either. It's just that Maura is.. a safe, easy source of release.

_Release. _

Jane could use release.

Screw it, what else does she have going on? Who's ever gonna know? She's gonna do it.

* * *

She ends up deciding not to bite off more than she's sure she can chew.

All she tells Maura is that she liked them getting off together - that is, separately - and asks if they can do that from time to time.

And Maura says, "Okay, how about right now?"

"Like, right here?"

"Why not?" she smirks. "Don't tell me my couch would be the most daring place you've pleasured yourself."

"Har, har," Jane answers sarcastically, but realizes she doesn't have anything very daring to boast about. "What are you doing?" she asks when Maura gets to her feet.

"Getting some wine." She disappears behind her into the kitchen. "Pinot. Would you like some?

"Nah, thanks. Well- on second thought.. maybe, yeah."

Maura chuckles.

"Where've you done it?"

"Hmm.." Jane hears two pours of liquid while Maura thinks. "On a sailboat."

"Sea level club, huh. Like, in the cabin?"

"No, up on the deck." She rejoins Jane on the couch and hands her a glass. "I was dating Garrett. He was taking ages doing something with the boat.. I was bored and the sea air was relaxing and I didn't care if he saw me or not. So I just lay there, looking at the clouds... it was nice."

Jane shakes her head, unable to imagine what it must be like to be Maura Isles. She takes a sip of her wine, finding for the hundredth time that she doesn't really like the taste, but it's more of a medicinal thing right now.

"Did he? See you?"

"No."

What a loss for that guy.

"Where else? Let me guess - private jet?"

"No." She laughs. "What about you?"

"Nothing too exotic I guess. I used to do it in my first car when I still lived at home. The privacy was a luxury," Jane recalls with a pink grin. "Just park somewhere empty and... I'd have to look at a map or something the whole time, but..."

"Wh-" Maura laughs suddenly enough to cup a hand under her wine glass for fear of it sloshing. "Why did you look at a map?"

"Because cars have windows and I needed to look normal above the waist? Not everyone's an exhibitionist, Miss I-Get-Off-On-Boats."

"It was one time! And there weren't any other boats nearby." She interrupts her next sip, touching a finger to her bottom lip to add, "No, twice. Well... kind of."

Jane snorts.

"So I could look right at you sitting in your car, and not know what you were doing below the waist?"

"Yeah."

"What a valuable skill to have on your stakeouts..."

"I don't do it on stakeouts!"

"Where else?"

* * *

Jane feels the evidence of her evening as she climbs the stairs to her second-floor apartment, her still-wet underwear saying _"Really?"_ with each step. She shuts her door, does up the security chain, and just leans against it in silence.

That had been a hot and fucking _bizarre_ evening.

Playful trading of masturbation stories had been easy enough. It was a fun conversation, but Jane had wondered if it was actually going to warm her up enough to unbuckle her pants.

But that wasn't the only sort of story Maura wanted to trade. Eventually she got onto the topic of blowjobs, and things got.. different.

That kind of made it easier, but kind of just made it weird in a different way. Well, definitely weird in that Maura kept calling it _fellatio_, even after she yelled at her.

How often Jane do that with her partners? _How_ did she do it? What did she _like_ about it? So many questions. And on every question where Jane hesitated, which was basically all of them, Maura volunteered her own answers in ever-increasing detail.

Long story short, she sounds like she's good at it. Which... Jane had never thought about that before, but like.. is it a surprise, really?

She ended up powerless not to picture it, and combined with the way Maura started enjoying herself to the memories, that's when Jane's hand finally strayed south too.

No, that wasn't even the weird part.

That title goes to the part where Maura finally got fed up with Jane's lack of detailed responses to her questions, and started describing how _she_ would picture Jane giving a blowjob. Like, exactly how.

It'd taken Jane a minute to decide whether she was more weirded out or turned on - because with minor exceptions, her idea of it was uncannily accurate. And she talked about it like Jane would be good at it, and like she clearly found the idea of it hot. (And why _wouldn't_ it be? She's never had complaints, either, thank you very much.)

Despite the warm blush on her cheeks, Jane had found herself having to correct the occasional detail... and then getting more candid as she saw the pace of Maura's hand quickening, and hers sped to match, and then there were more questions, and...

By the time clarity hit at the end, she felt like she'd just let Maura watch her have sex. She had overshared. She cannot _believe_ how much she overshared.

But oh boy, that wasn't her standard weeknight zoned-out-with-one-hand-down-her-pants orgasm. That was the kind that made her toes curl in her boots. The kind where she had to clench her teeth to keep quiet.

If doing weird shit with Maura means she can have one like that once in a while, she can survive some awkwardness.

She pushes off the door and heads for the bedroom to change her underwear and go to sleep.

* * *

They do it again at the end of the week.

Maura clearly has a greater variety of stories to share, but she seems no less riveted to hear Jane's more vanilla ones, provided she goes into some detail.

They do it another time, and another.

Until Jane quits blushing and hesitating. Until getting off in front of Maura stops being super weird and becomes just sort of a fun, casual, kinda hot, ego-boosting way to unwind.

Until Jane has revealed enough about her sex life verbally that it starts seeming silly to refuse to do it physically.

Agreeing to more doesn't seem like such a big thing now.

There's just one last part to think through before she brings it up, though: having Maura do stuff to her is one thing, but this would go both ways. That would be the far more uncomfortable part.

Jane fluffs her pillow and stares at her ceiling, listening to her neighbor's pipes making that clunking sound, pondering. Could she do it?

She imagines kissing Maura, and tries really hard to think it would be hot and fun, but all she can come up with is that it'd be sort of weird. Sure, Maura would probably have fresh breath and kiss fine, but that isn't the point. Jane just doesn't think about her like that. Ok, well, there's no reason they'd be kissing anyway. Scratch that.

Anyway, this is about an exchange of favors, not about mutual enjoyment. Gotta be a giver if you wanna be a getter. How bad could it be? Maura's pretty, and nice, and there could hardly be anyone more hygienic. At worst, it'd be awkward, but at least she won't have to pretend she's enjoying it.

It's worth a try.

* * *

"Alright," Jane wipes her palms together, dusting her plate with pizza crumbs. "Rules?"

Maura purses her lips in thought.

"Rule one: if either of our feelings begin to change in any way, we have to immediately disclose it."

"Yeah. Rule two: this isn't an everyday thing. Just now and then, if neither of us are seeing anyone and we really need it. We can't do it too often."

"How often is the maximum?" Maura asks.

They both cast around, trying to decide what figure to pull out of thin air.

"Twice per week?" Maura suggests at exactly the same moment that Jane shrugs "Once a month?"

"_Twice_ a _week? _What are we, dating?"

"Once a fortnight," Maura compromises.

"Fine."

"Fine. Rule three: we should state our desires plainly and without embarrassment, but the other won't be obligated if they aren't up for it. And rule four, any reciprocation of favors is purely optional."

"Okay. Five, no dating crap. No little gifts or dinner first or talking about feelings. We'll just get right to the point, do what we gotta do, and otherwise be exactly how we are now."

"Okay."

"I don't want to kiss. Or cuddle, or sleep with you, or any of that."

"Okay," Maura nods.

"And.. what are we on? Six? This thing ends the second it gets in the way of our friendship. Getting off once in a while isn't worth messing that up."

"Absolutely."

That seems to be the last of the ideas for rules.

"So is that it? Do we...?" Jane extends a hand.

"I don't know," Maura laughs but shakes it. "I've never done this before, either."

"So."

"So. Do you want to come back here after work one of these evenings and...?"

"And what?" Jane asks, already half-ready to chicken out.

Maura smirks. "And do whatever we like."


End file.
